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But the gospel offers real grace for the heart reeling that can happen from finding out about a boyfriend’s or girlfriend’s sexual past.
The one who has his or her own sexual history faces their own challenges.
When I was in college, I remember having an experience that I referred to as a "love hangover." After being with a girl, the next morning I always felt an emptiness.
That's something you won't see on TV or in the movies, but it happens a lot. The "love hangover" was a strange occurrence for me.
We found 10 women in your situation and asked experts to give their insights on what happened so you can dodge future dating disasters.
Her take: “I went out with a guy I met online who seemed really sweet and charming. A few days later, he texts me to say that he isn't looking for a girlfriend—just casual sex.
So, finally, I came to the conclusion that premarital sex wasn't all it's cracked up to be. Often a girl will justify sex by saying, "But I love him," even if she doesn't really want to go through with it. It's been said that, "Girls use sex to get love; guys use love to get sex." This is how it works: the girl is picturing marrying the guy some day; the guy is picturing everything he wants to do with the girl before he goes back to tell his buddies about it.
So you would imagine that having sex would have been completely fulfilling -- the crowning achievement in the worship of my "god." And yet, there was often a lack of fulfillment afterwards. Why is it that sex, if it's so important to me, leaves me with an empty feeling? I then concluded: "I just need more [sex], that's all." (We often think this way about stuff we hope will fulfill us, then doesn't.The twin emotions of judged when you feel the weight of your partner’s regret and struggle to process what their sins mean for you.Obsession, because you want to let the past be the past, but only after your own morbidly detailed investigation — and because you stubbornly refuse to be rejected and overlooked for the purity which you’ve guarded so diligently.Television can make such a history into a lot of things — meaningless, devastating, even humorous.But it cannot redeem it, at least not in any truly deep and lasting way.
When you measure your lovability by trying to quantify your sexuality, you diminish your humanity.