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This is written in a pretty heteronormative manner, which I apologize for, but the experiences I’m most familiar with are men trying to chase women here. Mentioning this first because it’s SUPER important, and it’s the first thing guys tend to mess up on.This is loosely based on my own experiences as well as the experiences and suggestions of many girls I’ve talked to. Look, as much as I’m a body positivity advocate, as much as I call myself fat, as much as I realize that attraction is important and some people are attracted to fat bodies (which is totally cool! As fat girls, we spend a lot of our lives being treated differently–and it’s usually not in a good way. We’re just looking for you to get it and not do more of the same!Some disguised it as 'preferring girls to be fit' or 'wanting them to be in proportion' but we all knows what that means - find me skinny.Ironic given that, if you ask most men to pick out a girl who's a size 14 they'd probably point at a dress size 22 - brainwashed by the media to think that anything over a size 10 is plus size and quite in the dark about what real sizes look like on real women.And then I suddenly found myself afraid to publish it so it's been in a folder for a few months.
I’ve thankfully been in a relationship for over two years now – I say thankfully, because it’s tough out there (well, that and I’m very much in love with my boyfriend!Not only does this make them sexy but it makes my heart weep for every guy (lonely, I'll add - you don't join a dating agency if you're not looking for someone to fill an emotional gap) who'd joined up, entrusted (and paying) somebody else to find them love to then turned a person down, before they'd even met them, based on their weight. Our society is also all about extremes - people are either fat or thin and people - men, in this case, struggle to imagine anything in-between - there is no normal or middle ground when you are being read out the stats of another person only labels that define you as a type of person.This applies to men as much as women, take the recent internet craze of dad-bods, people celebrating men who were neither super fit or super fat - they were normal and yet you'd have thought no one had seen an average torso before.If your mind is free from everyday concerns you might start wondering what he feels like or what is going on in his mind. The ways of our modern society are such that a guy is supposed to like slimmer women which is regarded as taking good care of themselves and minding their health.Anyway, there always are – and always will be – guys who are into a bigger kind of woman.
Here are 15 of various thoughts that enter their heads.