Dating your ex
Sometimes it seems like the universe just likes to laugh at your life.
That's certainly the case when you find yourself attracted to your ex's friend!
Authentic change that has a lasting effect (and doesn’t suddenly disappear when the adrenaline from watching Tony Robbins or reading a self-help book fades) comes from altering our every day habits. While I do not doubt the intention people have for change, I question the impact if that intention is not backed by actions, and reinforced by repetition.
The first time I met his mom, she could not stop talking about the ex. The thought of boozing it up at the club with the last of your single friends seems more unappealing now that you’re in your thirties. And you haven’t had sex for so long that you swear you’re a born-again virgin. In fact, he looks like a saint compared to the slew of bad dates recently, from the guy who only spoke in analogies to the guy who couldn’t understand why you declined an invite to his house to watch a “DVD” as a first date. Those insecurities, those unresolved trust issues, those clashes in values? Yep, those are the same problems that are going to peak it’s head into your everyday as soon as the initial surge of chemical reactions settle down and you’re back in reality mode.The thought of left-swiping on Tinder or answering another pointless question on e Harmony makes you feel exhausted rather than celebratory. Because he sure is looking pretty perfect right about now! Unless some serious self-work has been done to identify, heal and move forward from those previous issues, it is only a matter of time until those issues are triggered again.Make a list of the reasons you and your ex-boyfriend parted.Examples of this might include different interests, goals and values, incompatible schedules, dishonesty, infidelity, physical or emotional abuse, or just not being ready for the responsibilities of a serious relationship.
She told me their entire dating story, why they broke up, how the ex-girlfriend’s parents still think my boyfriend is the best guy for her (oh yeah, the mom is also good friends with the ex girlfriend’s parents). I did have a discussion with my boyfriend after this incident, and he thought his mom was inappropriate.